Be honest, are you happy with where you are? And if not, who is holding you back?
There are only two ways of dealing with your reality – you can either stay there or grow out of it. And life will always throw something at you that will force you to adapt/change/grow. Right where you are now, you are either stagnating or growing, you are either dead or living.
I want to single out one state that keeps people stuck – and that is low self-esteem. A state characterized by thoughts sounding like this:
- I will never get better
- I will never be good enough for…
- I am broken
- I don’t like this thing I am
- No one will love me
The reasons for ending up in such a state of mind are numerous: you could have been poor as a child, bullied by someone or abused by your parents, or lost a loved one and these are all bad things. My question is, do you want to stay there, living as the person that was created by these lies? Because the consequences are huge – it will lead to you never taking the chances in life to achieve what you want to achieve, never developing your skills, and never rising to the occasions that life will bring you.
We see another grave consequence in the parable told by Jesus about the three slaves. All of them got an assignment from their master to multiply their money (or gifts/skills/opportunities) and he was happy with the two who tried, but He was unhappy with the one who was too afraid to try. The master knew the truth about the slaves and their capabilities and He knows the truth about you too. If you feel a weight of responsibility on your shoulders, it means He sees the capability inside of you to carry that responsibility. God can only interact with the truth of who you are. He doesn’t interact with, this false self that was built on lies. He doesn’t know the weak, poor, incapable, hopeless, short-sighted, fearful person you created because he doesn’t exist and if you are going to live from these wounds, you will most probably miss Him when He calls you to stand up, sing your songs, start your career and achieve your goals. You will miss out on real life, for the sake of a life built on a lie and I cannot think that that is more painful than the next step you have to take today to get out of there. To study your next chapter, read your next book, see your therapist, go for practice, ask for help, and sign up for your next hobby. And if you have done this and failed/were disappointed then that is not a sign that you must stop, it most probably means you have to dig deeper and change something before you get going again. Don’t be swayed by the ups and downs of life, they are merely crosswinds. What is important is that you are able to look back over longer periods, say 1 year or 5 years, and see that you have changed and grown inside.
We cannot escape the tension that exists between where we are and where we need to be. It is an omnipresent fact of life. This tension will be like a spring that can either propel you to your next version, accompanied by growing pains; or keep you pinned down where you are – comfortable, safe, lazy, and unnecessary, with the accompanying aching pains. I am thankful for the growing pains, they remind us that we are alive.
It is going to be painful. You have to choose your pain.
- Mat 25:14-30 (NIV)